


Post-Partum

by SparkleTindi



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, WARNING: SUICIDE MENTION, ramble fic of rambliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 07:05:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4253994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparkleTindi/pseuds/SparkleTindi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isaura is having her first child, and she is not prepared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Post-Partum

**Author's Note:**

> I think the title pretty much gives this away, but I will add that this is the closest to baby fic you will see from me, and is quite true to life. As always, comments and helpful criticism are always welcome! I'm not sure about the pacing, but I'm also not sure what I'm going to do about it, so I thought I'd post it and see what happened.

The pregnancy had been rough. Isaura wasn't used to giving up control of her own body, and she was shocked by how intensely she hated it. She had days of absolute serenity, and Cullen could see the mother she could be. Then there were the bad days. She threw things, she had panic attacks, and then she withdrew into herself. The good days and bad days were even, at worst, but she blew the bad ones out of proportion.

He was assured that her labor was quite uneventful for a first child. It had been more than eventful enough for _him_. The baby hadn't wanted to leave her warm home, and she had fought the whole way. Isaura had only screamed once, when the head was coming out, but that scream had been the most frightening noise he'd ever heard. She wasn't badly torn, but she was weak after an entire day of laboring.

The healers had handed their daughter to him and had left him to it while they took care of his wife. The child had eaten her first meal, and was now in the way of the healers. Isaura protested against them taking her away until she saw that Cullen had her.

So tiny. She was quite large for a baby, but still tiny in his arms. Already he could see a bit of both of them in her; she had the translucently pale complexion he'd had as a child, poor girl, but was much finer boned. The fine, auburn hair could have come from either of them. Her eyes wouldn't be their final color for awhile, years even; right now they were dark gray, which surprised him. He thought all babies had blue eyes. He was also surprised that she seemed to be looking straight at him; he knew she couldn’t focus yet, but she was certainly trying.

The wee creature stirred slightly, but then cuddled into the warmth of her father. Father. He was a parent. This girl was going to break his heart a million times and then leave her parents to live her own life. "Cullen?" his wife called from their bed. "Come over here where I can see both of you."" Her green eyes were dulled by exhaustion, her dark skin was sweat-soaked, and her red hair was tangled and everywhere. She was gorgeous.

He brought their daughter back over. "Look at her," he said softly. "What are we getting into?"

Isaura laughed weakly. "A lifetime commitment to hopefully not screw this tiny creature up too badly." She reached a trembling hand up to stroke the baby's face. "I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it."

"You'll be fine," he said, shifting the child slightly so he could squeeze Isaura’s fingers. "We'll do it together."  


***

The only thing keeping Isaura from jumping off the balcony was that Deshanna would want feeding again soon, and Isaura was her only source of food. Everyone kept telling the Inquisitor what a good baby Deshi was, but she showed her worst side to her mother. Nursing, which should have been a time for mother and daughter to bond, was not going well. At three months old, Deshi had decided that Mama wasn't fast enough. The baby pummeled her poor mother to try and make the milk come faster, and she ate all the time.

Cullen found his wife out on the balcony that overlooked the rest of Skyhold, sobbing into her arms, crossed over the rail. "Oh, my love. You're being so hard on yourself. The baby is fed. It doesn't matter how she gets there." He wrapped his arms around her. "I think we need to discuss getting a wet nurse. That child is draining you, in more ways than one. I know you wanted to feed her yourself, but it's destroying your bond with Deshanna."

The baby cried from her cradle, at the foot of their bed. Isaura closed her eyes and Cullen saw the lines that hadn't been there before the pregnancy stand out in sharp relief from her _vallaslin_.  "Go sit down and I'll change her. I wish I could help you more." He wrapped his wife up in his arms. "We'll get through this together; I told you that when she was born. It's still true."

Despite her own mixed feelings about parenthood, Isaura never got tired of watching how tender her husband was with the baby. Cullen tickled the tiny feet as he changed her diaper, making the little monster smile. She had just started smiling, and Isaura felt like she saved the best ones for her daddy. Of course, he was more patient with Deshi than Isaura was, so he deserved the affection. Unlike her mother... "Stop that," Cullen said without looking around.

"What?" Isaura said, settling into her rocking chair by the fire.

"You're beating yourself up again, love. I can tell from your face. You're doing the best you can, even if it doesn't feel like it." He brought the baby over and handed her to his wife, kissing Isaura on the forehead. "It is already getting better, and it will _keep_ getting better as Deshanna develops more of a personality." He dragged the footstool over and, sitting on it, picked Isaura's feet up and set them on his lap. While Isaura got Deshanna attached, Cullen rubbed his wife's feet. "Remember when I was doing this while you were pregnant? You got so big, I was afraid we were going to have unexpected twins!"

Isaura laughed. "I was so afraid you were right! I realized almost as soon as I got pregnant how not ready for this I really was." She sighed, but the smile remained. "You're right. It is getting better. She loves my singing, for one thing."

"Anyone who has a functional set of ears loves your singing," Cullen teased. "I stand outside the room when you're putting her down and listen every night." He grew serious, still rubbing Isaura's feet. "I think we need to have Gatsi finish up her room; you'll feel better once you have your own space back."

"You just want me to yourself," she teased, and he laughed, trailing a teasing hand up her leg. Isaura shivered; even after five years of marriage, his touch still made her tingle all over.

"I do, yes. I won't even try to deny that. Now that the selfish little creature can go more than ten minutes without her mommy, I want you back." He sobered again. "Isaura, you really should talk to one of the healers about how you've been feeling; it's quite common, you know."

The "selfish little creature" made a soft, contented noise and, breaking free from her mother, snuggled into Isaura's arms and fell asleep. Isaura looked down at her daughter, stroking the tiny face. "You're right. I owe it to Deshi to make sure I'm the best mother I can be."

"Good. You can even talk to... Cole... if it makes you feel better." Cullen shook his head. "He's still weird, and I _still_ think having an animate spirit around is just asking for trouble, but he's also your friend, and he does want to help."

"Aw, you're using his name after six whole years," Isaura teased. "Progress!"

 


End file.
